india

Growing up in a male-dominated environment, Narinder achieved something others would not have thought possible – becoming the first female lawyer in her village in 1968. But she couldn’t have done any of this without the support and sacrifices of her father. Read her amazing story here.

Born into a male favoured society

“The community where I grew up was very backward. Ladies did not go to school at that time. In 1935 my cousin was the only one in the family who was educated. Those days having a girl was a liability. My father told me that the moment the family finds out they are having a girl they would kill the baby when she was born. My father was against it and started preaching that if anyone does this in the village, then they wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the village.

My mother was a very beautiful lady, but I look more like my father. I was born with dark skin. At that time beauty was described as having fair skin. My Massi (mother’s sister) who visited my parents immediately after my birth, said to my parents what will they do with a dark skin girl like me? She suggested to my parents to kill me, but my father was furious and banned my massi from coming home. My father feared for my life.

Getting a good education

He cared for me and my sisters with lots of love and brought us up very well. He encouraged us to study and get an education. Society at that time was really backward and girls didn’t get an education, so we were very blessed to have this support from my father. I was really keen to study, so I started going to a district school where I travelled a long journey (on a horse) but only for a few days of the week. I was the first one to go to school and get an education in my family.

My father will remain my biggest inspiration in my life… and I will forever be grateful to him.

I completed my 10th grade in 1947 in Pakistan. During that time the partition between India and Pakistan happened. My family then moved to India. My father wanted me to become a doctor but getting into medicine then was really tough – there were no colleges or school where we lived; we didn’t even have any roads built yet!

Becoming the first female lawyer in my village

After a few years of moving to India, I got married. I always wanted to study. I was adamant that I want to get further education and get a qualification. My husband also encouraged me a lot to study further. So I did my BA (Bachelor of Arts) in 1954 and then LLB (Bachelor of Law) and became a lawyer. My husband was very helpful during this process.

I was the first lady in my district to become a lawyer and continued in this profession. During those days only men would become lawyers. But I took a challenge upon myself and I was determined to change this. When I went to court I was even addressed as “Advocate Saab” (Advocate Sir) which is how men are greeted, as there was no word to greet lady lawyers at that time and most professions were dominated by men.

My father – an amazing man

My father gave lots of sacrifice for the independence of India and during British Rule became an MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly). He is the reason I have achieved so much in my life and I will forever be grateful to him. He had a lot of stamina and was very intelligent despite limited education. He will remain my biggest inspiration in my life. I would have loved to write a book about him.”

Narinder Kaur #womenofdundee

Speaking English was a new experience for me

“I moved to Dundee in 1972, about 13 years after my marriage. I was somewhere around 17-19 years old when I got married – in those days no one really kept track of age. After my marriage, I lived with my Aunty and 2 children in India.

My husband came to the UK for work and after 4 years working there, he was then allowed to bring his family with him.

I couldn’t speak English when I came to Dundee. In India during that time, many girls were not in Education and I only studied until a certain age. My parents thought we just needed to know how to write letters as it wasn’t expected in those days that we would have to work.

When I moved to the UK, I did not make much effort to learn English. I didn’t need to work and spent most of my time at home so I did not feel the need to know how to speak English. However, over the years I realised that I wanted to go out of the house and speak to other people. I have since picked up many words by interacting with others. Even though I don’t speak the language fluently I can still understand when someone chats with me.

Missing India, but making a life for my family here in Dundee

There are many things that I miss about India. I miss my family there, but I guess many people would feel the same way? To me, home is where my children are and I have been blessed with a very happy life with my children. They are well settled here so I am happy to be here. After all, what would I do in India on my own?

I do go back to India often to visit my relatives. Sometimes I even go back twice a year so I don’t feel like I have much of an opportunity to miss them. There are many others who don’t get the chance to go back home and I can only imagine how hard it must be for them.

I have been coming to DIWC for around 5 years now. I like coming to the Bazorg group. I get the chance to meet everyone and have a good chat. It’s a nice atmosphere to be here and we are all happy. I enjoy being involved in the variety of activities provided for us from exercising to massaging and many more. It is a lot of fun”

S.K. #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: How her father’s support helped Narinder to become a lawyer